So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
