What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Randomize
