why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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