I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
