if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
