I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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