Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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