3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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