the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
