Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
