sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
