took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
