real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
