I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
