woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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