Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
