I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
