is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
