From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
