I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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