....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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