Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
