Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the day after is always just damage control
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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