I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
