you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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