Small penises have feelings too.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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