critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
