We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
