you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
