he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
