At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
now i know why i became what i already was.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
