I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
