Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
