Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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