i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
