I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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