so that wasnt chicken after all
he puts the penis in happiness.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
