Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
