Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
