she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You were trust falling into bushes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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