To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
