We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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