i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
