As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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