See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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