Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
