I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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