a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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