Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
