I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
